Agent Monday: On Sticking to Things

Soccer Goalie Blocking BallHappy Agent Monday, everyone! I’ve spent a lot of time over the last two weeks with a variety of writer friends. Some already published, some working hard to get there. And we started chatting inevitably about careers. An unpublished writer said she was worried about what to write next because it has to get an agent. She has to get an agent or what’s the point? So today I thought I’d chat a bit about setting goals – the good and the bad, and on the goodness of sticking to things with that long view of your career.

Remember, I’m not only a literary agent, I’m an author, too. So I understand how it’s hard to justify in a practical way taking time away from your family, and from a “sensible” income to write as much as you can. Why? Do you have a book deal? Do you have an agent? Do you have a decent income? Many writers do not. And many writers can have an agent but no book deal for a length of time. Or a book deal, or several, and still need another source of income. You should definitely work hard toward goals. You deserve to give your creativity your best efforts. But if you are a writer, you are one no matter what. And you don’t know what is around the next corner. Ups and downs alike.

That’s why I cringe a little when I hear aspiring writers saying things like, I have to get an agent this year. This book has to sell. I’m going to write in this genre because it’s hot now and it’s going to sell.

Hey, it’s smart to know the market. It’s smart to work hard and strive. But I think it’s cruel to your muse to set up goals in a way that will send you the signal to stop. That if you don’t achieve this goal at this time, it’s never going to happen and you should quit.

How well I remember sitting in an accountant’s office with my husband as the accountant frowned over my income and looked over our books. He sat back in his big leather chair, pressed his fingertips together and said, “Okay, let’s do this. Let’s give your little writing thing, oh, another year. And if nothing comes of it, then you can get a real job.”

My husband’s eyes met mine. I knew he was on my side and believed in me. Even though, despite national magazine article gigs and yes, even a book contract, I still made less than a McDonald’s worker. Far less. I found myself spluttering to the accountant that I wasn’t some hack. That I was a writer. Period. And I could see in his eyes he didn’t get it. And I didn’t care.

Thank goodness I didn’t care. I cared about my craft and my voice and I kept writing. And my income wouldn’t impress an accountant. Maybe my writing income never would. But I love what I do. And that matters.

So don’t quit. You don’t know when the next great thing will come from your efforts. The only thing you know for sure is that if you give up, your dreams will never come true.

I wonder if that practical accountant tossed his dreams aside along the way. Hm…and now he tries to quash the dreams of every creative that comes into his office. A possible plot!

Boy Playing SoccerI just want to say hang in there, writers. Dream big. Plot your own career with a long and positive trajectory. And enjoy the ride. That is a gift in itself.

*Marie is an Associate Agent at The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City. To keep up with all her Agent Monday posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the Follow link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: On Writing and Fear

Yvette from her facebook profileHappy Agent Monday, everyone! Today, I’m excited to feature a guest post by my client, extraordinary author Yvette Ward-Horner. It’s all about writing and fear. Yvette has plenty of experience facing fear both on and off the page. Her stunning debut novel LOOK WELL tackles the realities of climbing; the glory, the fear, the bonds that emerge from suffering. It also examines the choice that some of us make to abandon the mainstream blueprint for success and instead pursue a different type of life. Yvette writes with true authority. In real life, she happens to be a climber herself (that’s a picture of her on that icy mountainside). So, take it away, Yvette!

ON WRITING AND FEAR
guest post by Yvette Ward-Horner

“Doubt and uncertainty, fear and intimidation are at the heart of the novel-writing process.” – John Dufresne

Fear.

It’s there with you when you write those first words; it’s still there later when you type The End and blow your nose and think Is it really over? And all the way through your story or novel, as you coax and smooth the words out (or are charged and trampled by them), fear will twist your thoughts and crumple your hopes.

This sucks.

I’m a hack.

No one will like this story.

And then there’s the flip-side, of course; you know that too. If you write, you’ve surely spent hours or days or weeks with the words rushing out, high on your talent and the sheer raw joy of writing.

This book will be huge.

How could it not sell?

It’s a page-turner.

But it never lasts. Maybe you get a new rejection, maybe your spouse is thoughtless, or maybe you just eat too much hard salami. You re-read your work and it’s suddenly not quite so clever. Your metaphors flop, your plot twist rattles, and why would anyone care about your protagonist?

No one will like this story.

This book is awful.

And there you are again.

As a writer and climber, I know fear well, in all its forms and stages of intensity. It may seem that the fears of the writer and the fears of the climber have very little in common, but under the fraying nerves, there’s a common message. Stop what you’re doing. You won’t make it. Give up now.

And so much of the danger is simply imagined.

I might fall.

I might fail.

That whisper in the back of the mind.

But what can be done? How can you make yourself brave? You’re hoping right now that I’ll teach you some magic; a Zen trick, a swift path to courage. You want to cling tight to that muse-fed bliss when it comes, joyfully streaming your visions onto the page, secure in the knowledge that your talent is strong, your prospects rosy, your novel a thing of beauty.

But there—you feel it already. That rustle of doubt. Sit still for a moment and let it rustle, feel it twisting: yes, it’s deep and ugly. Now turn away and get on with what you were doing.

That’s all you can do.

The stark fact is that fear is just part of writing, like seductive adverbs and wayward commas and plot threads that lead you miles in the wrong direction. And it can’t be escaped. It makes you doubt everything sooner or later – your characters, your scenes, yourself. It sits in your chest and whispers give up and it can make you abandon a book before it’s finished. If you let it.

And that’s the key to this whole thing: If you let it.

Because fear will never kick you free, no matter how much you scold it or wring your hands, no matter the quality of your positive self-talk and the inspirational quotes you post on Pinterest. Getting published won’t get rid of it – if anything, it makes it slightly worse. All you can do, then, is learn to abide with it; let it be part of your writing and your life. On the days that your book is singing to you, write. On the days that fear is darkly muttering, write. Finish that beautiful novel you’re writing; surge on your flows of hope and ebb with dignity. Let fear ride with you, but don’t let it dictate your actions.

And never let it decide the course of your life.

 

Yvette headshot from websiteYvette Ward-Horner is author of the debut novel LOOK WELL. Her short stories have been published in print and online literary journals and several have been reprinted in anthologies. Her short story THE NOMADS won first place in the Literary/Mainstream category of the Writer’s Digest Magazine’s 78th Annual Writing Competition. An avid mountain climber, Yvette lives in the Rocky Mountains, where she climbs as much as possible and is a member of the local Search and Rescue team. You can connect with her on her website here and friend her on Facebook here.

 

Agent Monday: Finding the Time to Write

MP900302970Happy Agent Monday to you all! Today, as we enjoy an extra hour of sunlight (you did turn your clock forward, right?), it’s a perfect time to talk about, well, time!  Specifically, finding the time to write. I’m thrilled today to have a guest post by my client and wonderful author Erin Teagan. Erin, though busy over the years with work and raising a family, has managed to write a number of manuscripts and to work hard at perfecting her craft. She got my attention and offer of representation with a sharp and touching middle grade novel called STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURES about Madeline Little, genius scientist in the making, who keeps her life in control by creating SOP’s like “How to Fake a Bubonic Plague to get out of a Party.” But when her life flip-flops at the start of middle school, and the SOPs no longer do the trick, it’s up to Madeline to discover a new cure for her newly messed up life.

Here’s a look into how Erin finds the time…

 

FINDING TIME TO WRITE

Guest post by Erin Teagan

 

Finding the time to write is a universal struggle for writers. Day jobs, kids, pets, snowmageddons, to-do lists, books to read…there are a million things that require our time and attention before we can give anything to writing.

When I was in college I wrote a terrible YA novel. I worked on it during holiday breaks and in the summer. I pictured what writing would look like when I graduated, churning out book after book with all the time I’d have. A 9 to 5 job? No studying? What else did adults do with their time? Ha!

It took that first year of working to realize that if I wanted to be a writer I had to make it a priority. Because even though I chose a career that rarely required take-home work, it sometimes meant working late. And sometimes it meant traveling and giving up my weekends. It also meant going back to school for a graduate degree. I fantasized about my old college days. What did I do with those huge chunks of time between classes? Why hadn’t I worked on my novel more?

I researched how other writers fit it all in (I’m a scientist. I research EVERYTHING). Lots of articles talked about the time suck of the Internet and TV. But I loved those kind of time-sucks! After working nine or ten hours, sometimes it was all I could do to just sit on a couch with my roommate or husband or 90 lb lap dog and stare at the TV like a zombie. And if you didn’t surf the Internet for at least a little bit, imagine how far behind you’d get on surprise attack kitten videos or dogs romping in the snow? Sometimes you just had to be part of society, you know?

Other articles talked about writing in the wee hours of the morning or into the dark of night. Some of the most successful authors wrote while the rest of the world was sleeping. And I thought, I should give it a try. I was a night person. I used to study into the midnights, I should surely be able to churn out a book or two that way. Except I found that I just couldn’t turn off my to-do list. Those unchecked boxes that remained from my day haunted me, my brain chatter too loud. Was I even meant to be a writer if I couldn’t find any time to write?

I pictured myself fifteen years older, with kids, a mortgage, real-life problems and complications. If I was going to get writing into my schedule, it had to be now. So I tallied my excuses. Why I couldn’t write at night. Why I couldn’t give up my time-sucks. Why I couldn’t possibly write in the early morning. And what I found was I had far less excuses (though they were good ones, I tell you) about writing in the morning.

I remember the first time I tried it. I set my alarm fifteen minutes early. I was on a business trip which meant long, tiring hours. But there were no more excuses. I knew my brain would resist this new schedule so I treated myself to some new books. Plot workbooks. Writing exercises. Books on writing. The first day was a struggle, but I made myself do one writing exercise. I was groggy, the hotel coffee was pretty terrible, but once I got the writer juices flowing, it wasn’t as horrific as I had feared.

This was a big change for me so it took me months. Each week I set my alarm fifteen minutes earlier. By the end of it, I was waking up at 4:45 in the morning and my brain was forgetting that I was a night-person. I felt so successful! At the end of that first year I had revised my terrible young adult novel (and then put it in a locked drawer) and managed to write a somewhat decent draft of a new middle grade. I felt so accomplished! I had managed to trick my night-person brain to be something that could function and focus in the wee hours of the day.

Nearly fifteen years later, with real-life complications, kids and a mortgage, I’m so thankful I took the plunge and made writing a priority in my schedule. It took some trial and error and brain training to figure out what worked best for me, but now I can be sure to check off that one ‘writing’ box on my to-do list every day.

Now if I could just apply that to the rest of my life like going through my overstuffed filing cabinet, resolving that toll violation, or exercising. But really, who runs on a snow day? And is that filing cabinet really hurting anyone? So I’ll leave those tasks unchecked on my list for today. At least I got some writing in.

 

Erin TeaganErin Teagan has a master’s degree in science and worked in biochemistry labs for more than ten years where she wrote endless Standard Operating Procedures.  She’s an avid reader and has reviewed middle grade and young adult books for Children’s Literature Database and Washington Independent Review of Books.  She’s active in SCBWI and this will be her eighth year co-chairing the Mid-Atlantic fall conference. STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURES will be her debut middle grade novel. Erin is represented by Marie Lamba of The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency.

Agent Monday: Everyone’s Different

SnowflakeHappy Agent Monday, everyone!  Hopefully you are making it through the winter okay.  Not letting the relentless snow get to you… Washing your hands and not letting the germs get to you…  And feeling hopeful all around. Days are getting longer and longer. March isn’t too far off (do NOT tell me about big snowstorms that tend to happen in March, please). And nothing can stop you from writing, not even a power outage. Ha!  Take THAT, winter. But sometimes we writers can fall into the doldrums. It can happen at any time of year. We feel this way when we don’t get validation. Our critique group gives us some harsh advice. Our agent isn’t 100% on board with our newest manuscript. Our efforts to get an agent isn’t met with the roaring praise and success we’d hoped for. Our manuscript on submission to editors isn’t an instant sell. They like it, but… And WHAM! Just like that we doubt ourselves. We see others having success. What’s wrong with our writing? What’s wrong with us? So, today I’d like to just remind everyone that writing and publishing (and agenting) isn’t an exact science. EVERYONE’S DIFFERENT.

A few weekends ago I spent an awesome weekend as a guest agent at the SCBWI conference at Asilomar, CA. Hey, it was in California, so I’m allowed to say awesome.  Not only was it a blessed escape from the hell-hole snow and ice storms that have fallen upon the Northeast every other day, but it was also yet another reminder of just how different every person truly is in this business.  And how important it is to remember that as a writer, no matter what stage you are at in the biz.

Nowhere was this more obvious than at the agent pitching roundtable that we held.  I was the agent sitting at one table, and Jennifer Unter, who is lovely, was at the other. Jennifer and I met and clicked earlier that day. We seemed to have the same sense of humor and passion for great books, so you’d think we’d like the same sort of things, right? Nope. The writers got to pitch to the agent at their table and the other writers there got to listen in and take in our reactions. What did we respond to? Were we interested? What did we think about the pitch style and how could it be improved? What did we say about the market potential for a work?  Then I switched tables with Jennifer and I did this with the group she’d just heard from, and she took my group and did the same. The result? Interesting, for sure.  We each shared some opinions, sure. But we each also had very different interests too. I liked some things she didn’t. And vice versa. I liked or didn’t like certain things in the pitches, and that sometimes varied too. The big takeaway? Everyone’s different.

This isn’t an exact science. Yes, it certainly helps that I know lots of things about the editors that I pitch to.  But there is always that “I’ll know when I see it” factor in play. They can tell me they are looking for such and such, but there are tons of intangibles. That idea they didn’t know they were looking for until they saw it. That type of book they’d never thought they’d buy…until they saw such an unusual take on the subject and were completely blown away. And readers are fickle too. That book that was supposed to be a mega-hit, but fizzled. That sleeper that wasn’t supposed to go too far, and then broke all the records.

It’s not an exact science. It’s about your gut and your instinct and your unique point of view.  It’s about connecting with others, too. So listen to what the world says about your work. Take it in and think about it. Take what will make you a better writer and use that. But keep being yourself and believing in your voice and writing.

Everyone’s different, every book’s different. Every agent and editor is different, too. So work hard, keep improving your craft, love what you do, and have faith that you’ll find your audience.

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: It’s WORK

???????????Hi all!  Happy Agent Monday, once again. What a week full of bright swirling leaves and pumpkins and hot cider. I LOVE FALL. For me, this week was filled with the usual agent-y stuff, plus I’ve been in the process of transferring my writing space into another room. And I had the pleasure of meeting two of my clients for the first time. Throughout the week a theme has emerged: just how much work is involved in the literary life. Yes, writers love writing (for the most part!). And yes, sometimes penning novels feels like play cuz it’s such a blast to create a world. And, yes, when I as an agent get to hang out with my extremely cool and extremely talented writers, it definitely feels more like play than work.  But make no mistake: the writing life is WORK.

The topic for this post came to me this weekend when I sat sipping coffee with my client Erin Teagan. Erin hooked my representation as her literary agent with her sharp and extraordinary middle grade manuscript STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURES. It’s about Maddy, a genius scientist in the making who keeps her life in control by creating SOP’s like “How to Fake a Bubonic Plague to get out of a Party.” But when her life flip-flops at the start of middle school, and the SOPs no longer do the trick, it’s up to Maddy to discover a new cure for her newly messed up life.

So as Erin and I sat and chatted about our lives and swapped laughs, the conversation turned to our day-to-day literary lives. And she said, “You must be so busy. How do you do everything that you do?”

Yup, being an agent is time-consuming. Sure, it’s fun. I love treasure hunting through queries, and the thrill of finding that talented author and championing the writer through the literary world. Talking with really talented editors at publishing houses on a daily basis, and helping my authors in every way I can is so gratifying. But it does take time. It is hard work. I get up early to get a head start on query letters.  I stay up late reading manuscripts. I work through weekends. I work like a crazy person. But, really, it’s nothing new to me, because I’m an author too. And being an author is WORK!

Sure enough, when I asked Erin about how she spent her time, her own work ethic as a writer shone through. In addition to being a parent of small kids (and THAT is a job and a half for anyone), she spends endless hours writing and revising her own work, she participates in an active critique group, and each year she spends countless hours and hours organizing her region’s huge SCBWI conference. Oh, and (she casually mentions between sips of latte) she has five other novel manuscripts in her drawer at home. Five? FIVE???  I, as her agent, naturally smile and say, “Iwannaseethose. Ireallywannaseethose!”

Just think about all the time that goes into writing and polishing a novel. Then another and another. All while life throws you for a continuous loop, demanding your time in some most unexpected ways. Think of continuing to write yet another novel, even if your last ones may have gotten some interest but not that agent or that book deal you’d hoped for. Keeping in the writer zone throughout all this and continuing to devote more and more time to your craft is hard work.

Writers often refer to their earlier unpublished novels as their “learning novels.” They continue to plug away at their writing, improving as they move along. Sharpening their skills. Erin said a few of her novels were those learning novels. “I wouldn’t show you those,” she said. “But three of them? I think I know how to fix them now.”

I, her faithful literary agent, set down my hot beverage and rubbed my hands together. “Goodie!”

Writers write. If you are devoted to becoming an author, chances are you spend a lot of time writing, too. Perfecting your craft. Reading great literature. Journaling. Spending money on writer’s conferences. And chances are good that some people in your life don’t take you seriously all the time. “That’s your hobby,” they say. “How can it be work if you do it in your jammies at home?” they say. “But you haven’t even published a book,” they sniff. And that, over time, can get to you. It can spur doubts. You might start thinking: What am I, crazy? Spending years on something without getting much of anything in return yet?

So are you crazy? Well, maybe a little. But I think what you really are is a WRITER. And you are working hard toward a goal. Like Erin, who has been doing this for many years, and now? Her writing is stellar and polished, her manuscript immediately caught my eye, and soon we’ll be subbing it to top editors.

Also this week I got to meet another wonderful new client Richard Uhlig for the first time. Richard is the author of sharp and hilarious YA novels including LAST DANCE AT THE FROSTY QUEEN, BOY MINUS GIRL (both Knopf books), and MYSTERY AT SNAKE RIVER BRIDGE  (Wild Child Publishing), and he has a Hollywood screenwriting and directing background as well. Richard and I also started chatting about his writing life. He’s busy, also watching young children (that job and a half!), but still, in the past few years he’s managed to pen two novels, including the manuscript NERVOUS, the beyond hysterical story of a perpetually distracted underachiever, with writing that made me jump to the phone to offer him representation. And Richard has also recently written and produced two short films that are snagging prizes. Oh, and, he mentions as an aside, he also has two other novels sitting around.

I, his agent, drop my fork (we were having lunch, I don’t usually walk around with a fork in my hand – in case you were wondering). I want to see those novels.  A client with multiple novels and more ideas in the works = literary agent heaven. And being such a productive writer = HARD WORK. In addition to the writing and the film stuff and the parenting, Richard also participates in critique groups. He’s busy. And once again I’m struck by how much time writers put into their craft. And I’m awed. Truly.

Okay, so I mentioned that in addition to being an agent, I’m an author too. I have a few young adult novels published, and my stuff is in a few anthologies, and I’ve got a lot of articles in magazines, etc. You can find info about my books here.

Businessman Carrying Pile of FilesANYWAYS, so after meeting two of my newest clients, and being thoroughly impressed by both them as fascinating and lovely people and as really hardworking writers, I spent the rest of my weekend doing the dreaded task of moving my writing studio space from one room in my house to another. And, honestly, I got quite a shock.

I found an old middle grade novel manuscript that I’d never sold. Yeah, I remember that one. Oh, and another novel I wrote for the women’s fiction market. I kinda remember that one. And a YA novel manuscript. And another. And a slew of magazine articles that never sold. And another women’s fiction manuscript. And another. And a non-fiction book proposal. And at least three more partially written novels…

Honestly, I was stunned. All this work. Countless hours spent and my writerly passion poured onto pages. Stacks and stacks and STACKS of pages.

So what do I do with it all? I start reading them, naturally. And nodding my head. And laughing. Because I really don’t remember a lot of these. It’s like a different person wrote them. And, I admit with a blush, they are pretty good. Maybe not right for the marketplace. And I could do better now. I’ve learned and grown. It represents a ton of work, a ton of hours. But it was WORTH IT.

Not everyone in the world gets that, though. Like the accountant who, a few years ago during tax season, looked over my slim financials and shook his head. “Okay,” he said, leaning back into his cushy leather seat. “Why don’t you give your little writing hobby another year, and if it doesn’t pay off, you can go get real work.”

Um, what? (Note: I did not go back to him for the next year’s taxes… And I did not give up my “little writing hobby” either.)

Good thing we writers love what we do.  I truly respect the time each of you put into getting your work the best it can be. It matters. It’s valuable.

Be sure that you respect it, too. It doesn’t matter that you do it in your jammies. Or that no one has picked up your last x-amount of novels for publication. Or that your tax man is scoffing at you.

It matters that you work hard. That you strive to create the very best writing that you can. It’s a process. A hard one.

But it is also your path to writerly success.

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Writer Wednesday: My Learning Novel

A number of years ago an idea took hold of me. It was actually from this really cool dream I had as a teen of a secret staircase hidden in an old house. A path to another time. So when I decided I really wanted to get serious about novel writing, that was the notion that took hold of me. First I called the novel Magic in the Fireplace.  Then I called it In and Out of Time. I worked on this novel, polishing and revising and submitting it to publishers countless times. It was never published.

Since that seemingly endless time of hard work and revision and heartache and hope, I’ve gone on to write 3 more novels with happier results. And now I can look back at In and Out of Time and see that it was my “learning novel.” My non-MFA thesis. Through writing this book I struggled and discovered better openings to books, more effective pacing and focus. I fought with and sometimes won my own battles to discover better dialogue and more vivid imagery. I found and learned to value critique groups and writers conferences. I met editors and agents and other writers. I grew a thicker skin as the file of rejections grew.

I learned. I spent 10 years on it.

But still the novel never got published.

Sometimes that path felt tortuous. I’m a determined person. When I vow that something is going to succeed, I’m not one to give up. But finally I didn’t really give up, I decided to move on.  Good decision. The next novel I wrote took only 4 months to complete. Within a year I had both an agent and a publisher.

I really had learned.

Looking back, I wished my own “personal MFA” had been quicker. More efficient. But I’ve also met some wonderful and successful novelists who had 5 or 6 learning novels sitting in a drawer at home before they wrote the one that sold.

When you think of that, you realize the deep level of commitment and determination that writers bring to the page when they create.

These days, when I talk to others about what it takes to be a successful writer, I always say something like this: If this is what you love, you can’t give up. Nothing’s for sure, but one thing’s certain – if you give up, then it will never happen for you…

Then I whip out my massive stack of rejections, along with my published works.  The message is pretty clear.

But what about that novel of mine, In and Out of Time? Its got some cool stuff in it, but maybe too much cool stuff. It was a middle reader novel, but some part of the plot was too grown up…so I actually stole the heart of that and used it in my YA novel DRAWN. And with In and Out of Time there are three different time periods that characters travel to. Hm, couldn’t each one form a separate adventure and novel?

But how to do that?  Well, I’m not sure yet.

I’m still learning.

Writer Wednesday: Compare and Despair

A few days back I was chatting with my high school buddy, who is now a top Broadway producer. Cool, right?  And he, of course, knows tons of amazing actors who have differing degrees of success on Broadway, on TV and on film.  And most of them are hard on themselves, and don’t view themselves as successes, even though they definitely should.

My bud and I shared how similar this is to the world of writing.  How as a writer, you can be one of the few that finished a book manuscript, yet not see yourself as a success if it isn’t published.  Or how you can be published, but not by a top press, so you don’t see that as success.  Or you can be published by a top press, but then you don’t get a second book contract.  Or you can get great reviews, but you don’t hit the best seller list.  Or you can hit the best seller list, but your next book doesn’t do as well.  Or you can do well all around, but never get that movie deal.  Or you can get that movie deal, but the movie is a flop.  Or you can be up for the Pulitzer, but not get it…

At any stage, we crazy writers can see ourselves as failures, where any sane person on the outside can view us as incredibly successful.  My friend calls this syndrome: “Compare and Despair.”

Actors do this when they look at Patti LuPone or Ryan Reynolds and they think, “What’s wrong with me? Why them, and not me?”  Writers do this all the time too. Part of it is our natural drive to push ourselves. Our internal critic who tells us, “Really? Is that all you got?” And we answer by pushing ourselves to do even better, to work even harder.  That’s all good.

When it’s bad is when it stops us. Depresses us. Makes us want to give up. And some people do give up. That’s a shame.

Recently I had a birthday, and a well wisher posted on my wall: “You are one of the lucky ones. You have several published books and are an agent. Congrats!” Wow. I tend to not fall into the compare and despair trap too often, but that comment took me by surprise.  Lucky? Me? Why?

Even though I’m an optimist, I do have my moments of deep dark writerly despair.  I think about authors who debuted the same time as I did, but whose books weren’t orphaned, and how these authors now have many more books published along with the financial comfort that provides… Jeesh.

But then I do try to see how far I’ve come, to be grateful for what I’ve earned, and to remember to respect myself for who I am.  This is all an important part of the writer’s toolbox. If you don’t feel good about stuff, well…

It’s about perspective.  Comparing your writer’s journey to how far you’ve come personally. Like metaphorically heading to the Jersey shore and thinking, damn girl, my ass ain’t that fat.  It’ll boost your drive.

ANYHOW, if you love writing, you should do it. Work hard, of course, and shoot for the stars, but don’t forget to value where you are and every little achievement along the way. Are you better than you were last year?  Did you improve on a story that a few months ago you thought perfect? Then you are growing. Did you finish a manuscript? Try a new genre? Get the guts up to go to a writer’s conference? Dare to submit? Survive rejection and dare to submit again? Are you still writing even though the forces of the universe seem to be telling you to stop?

Celebrate.  And when others around you seem to be hitting the road to big success faster, remember that’s life. There is skill but also luck involved, and others’ success doesn’t always make sense to you (I’m thinking about Snookie, here). But that’s okay. Let it inspire you. Motivate you.

Just don’t compare and despair. Okay?