Agent Monday: Fix those Pitch and Query Mistakes!

Happy Agent Monday, everyone!  Conference season is heating up, and New York publishing is back in full force after a sleepy end of summer.  That means it’s time for writers to put their manuscripts in front of agents! Whether through a query or through an in-person pitch, you only get a short time to impress an agent. Are you spoiling your chances by bungling this or are you pitching and querying like a pro? If this is your first time out there, or if you aren’t getting the responses you’d like from agents, it may be time to fix those pitch and query mistakes!

Pitch times with agents are brief – anywhere from 15 minutes to 1 minute.  Yet a frequent mistake I see is a writer who eats up that time telling me WHY they wrote this story, or HOW it is told in first person or through alternate viewpoints, or…  Mistake!  Have you ever picked up a novel and bought it for those reasons? It’s all about the story – at least at first. So guess what you should focus on in that brief pitch? Yup – the story.

As a literary agent, I’ve seen, oh, thousands of queries. What’s a frequent mistake writers make? Their description of their book goes on and on for paragraphs. I don’t have the time to read so many long queries, but the real turn off for agents is that these long descriptions are often full of unneeded info, and tend to lack zing. This is writing that needs tightening, and that makes a plot feel unclear and unexciting. So if your book description in your query goes on for several paragraphs, it’s time to give your query letter a serious edit.

These are just a few important changes to your pitching and querying skills that might make a big difference when you try to interest an agent in representing you. If you would like to learn more, Associate Literary Agent Cari Lamba and I are offering a live Webinar through Writer’s Digest called HOW TO PITCH AND QUERY LIKE A PRO: TIPS AND TECHNIQUES THAT MAKE AGENTS TAKE NOTICE. Register for this, and you’ll attend our webinar online where we will show the ins and outs of what does and doesn’t work when it comes to pitching and querying agents. The webinar also includes a live Q&A with us where every question asked by participants is answered. And it includes a personal critique from us of your own query letter and the first 5 pages of your novel.  The cost for all of this is $89.99, and it’ll sharpen your skills before you spend far more on conferences or waste any more valuable time with an ineffective query letter. Be sure to register before the October 19th date! Note that although the Webinar begins live at 1 p.m. on the 19th, you don’t have to attend it live to view it and have the critique – so no worries there. Webinars, of course, are great because you don’t have to travel to attend, can attend in your jammies if you’d like, and you’ll have the recorded session after the live event to refer to again and again. If you’d like to find out more about the HOW TO PITCH AND QUERY LIKE A PRO Webinar, or would like to register for this, click here.

Hope to “see” you then!

*Marie is a Literary Agent at The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City. To keep up with all her Agent Monday posts, subscribe to her site.

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Agent Monday: Query No-No’s

Happy Agent Monday, everyone! Spring has finally taken hold here in the Northeast. Time to make things grow – like your writing career. Chances are if you have found this page, you are looking for an agent to help you do just that. This can be a tough and competitive process for sure, but it can be even tougher if you are making query mistakes that seriously ruin your chances.

We writers (NB: I’m an agent and a writer, so I totally get it…) have wonderful imaginations, which means we can worry about SO MANY things. I didn’t put my title in caps, I double spaced my query, I didn’t use a comma after an “and.” Maybe that’s why I’m not getting any agent offers? Nope. That won’t stop an interested agent from being drawn in, so relax. Here are some No-No’s that WILL turn an agent off, though:

Addressing your query to every single agent at once… I get these all too often. The email address of every known agent is included. I immediately delete these – as does every agent ever known.

Your salutation is general or non existent. Dear Agent. Dear Sir or Madam. Hello. That’s another mass mailer. That’s a goodbye.

You say your book is a YA/adult/historical/paranormal/thriller/horror/romance/Christian/humorous tragedy. There is no such shelf in a bookstore, and this is a sign that you don’t know your genre or market, and that your work will reflect that.

You know your genre, but are sending it to agents that clearly say they are NOT representing that genre. Maybe you think your work will change their mind or, more likely, you haven’t bothered to look at agent guidelines to see what we do and do not want to see. This ain’t gonna help you.

You send your query letter as an attachment. Would you open attachments from someone you don’t know? Neither will we – we will delete it.

You direct the agent to an online link to see your query letter or sample pages. That won’t work either. You need to follow agent submission guidelines and this won’t be a part of those guidelines – I promise.

Your query letter is poorly written and riddled with errors. Now I’m not talking about a misplaced comma or that one typo you found, horrified, after you pressed send. I’m talking about truly terrible writing that is careless and shows that the writer isn’t taking their craft seriously.

Chances are pretty good that if you’ve found this page, you ARE doing your homework. You may be saying, hm, I’m doing none of these awful things. Then take heart! If you are following submission guidelines, writing with care, and targeting your genre well in your writing and in your submissions, you’ve already risen to the top of an agent’s inbox. You won’t be immediately deleted. Your query will be read. You have given your manuscript a fair shot.

And, here’s a tip you may find helpful: If I were in your shoes, I’d be sure to include newer agents at established agencies in my query lists. These are people who have all the support of their agency, who have access to any editor because they are certainly legit agents, and who are eagerly building their client lists.

And, hint hint, I just might be one of those agents.

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City. To keep up with all her Agent Monday posts, subscribe to her site.

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Agent Monday: Top 5 Must-Knows for Writers Sending Queries

Happy Agent Monday, everyone! Remember me? Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve posted here simply because I’ve been SO VERY BUSY. With only so many hours afforded us, we agents have to use our time very wisely. That’s why, if you are a writer querying agents, you’ll want your query to be ultra effective. So, in the spirit of being succinct, I offer up The Top 5 Things Every Writer Must Know BEFORE Querying… (Thanks to client Caroline Noonan’s writer’s group for this blog post idea!)

1. Pay Attention to Submission Guidelines!

If an agent says they don’t represent category romance and that’s what you write, cross them off your list. If they ask you to start your email message line with QUERY – do so. It’ll help them spot your query, plus keep you out of their spam file. My submission guidelines allow you to paste in (NOT ATTACH!…See #2) the first 20 pages of your manuscript below your query. Folks that haven’t seen my guidelines and just send me a query letter really miss an opportunity when they submit. Follow specifications and it’ll improve your chances all around!

2. Attachments are a No No

Unless an agent specifically says send an attachment, just don’t! Attachments bring along a host of possible viruses, and won’t be opened. My own submission guidelines are very clear (find them here), yet I get entire manuscripts attached to queries. Or even the query letter only in the form of an attachment. Do this, and chances are high your query letters to agents will be deleted and you’ll never get a response.

3. Research is Your Friend

Back in the day, there was little info available on what agents wanted and who represented which author, etc. But today? You can spend just a bit of time researching and end up with a truly targeted list of agents. There is no reason to waste your time sending to zillions of agents at once. Get your list right, and spend that extra time working on your craft and on your next book instead! Find your list of agents using resources like the market listings put out annually through Writer’s Digest. DEFINITELY subscribe to publishersmarketplace.com to take your research to the next level…it’s $25 per month, but you can sign up for a month, research all you want, and then drop the subscription if you like. In this site you can quickly find out who represents which authors, which agents have done deals involving your sort of book, and then when you query those agents, you can really let them know why you’ve chosen to approach them. Smart, right?

4. Be Specific

Because agents have so little time to linger over query letters, get right to it! Quickly let us know the title of your work, the genre/age group it’s for, and the word (not page) count. Then give us, ideally in one line, an engaging description of its plot. I can quickly tell from this if it’s the type of project I’m interested in and if I want to read more. Hit this right (you’ve targeted the submission to me, so you’ll know I’m interested in this type of book, true?), and I’ll settle in happily to see what else you’ve got to say. Include a brief paragraph about your book, then a brief bio…keep on topic!

5. This is NOT a Drill

A query is your one shot to connect with an agent, so be sure you’ve got everything right. That means not only have you followed guidelines, but your letter is grammatically correct and interesting. If not, you’ll rack up those rejections quickly. Your novel must be complete, and completely polished. Don’t start querying agents until this is true. When it comes to fiction, we aren’t interested in merely an idea, and we don’t want to see a rough draft. You can’t come back to us and be all like, hey, remember when I sent that to you two weeks ago? Yeah, well, here’s a different version of it – do you like THIS ONE?  Nope. You are querying because your book is as ready as you can make it. If it’s not? Then wait until it is.

Okay, I know I said there would be 5 on this list, but I’d like to add just one more item…

6. Agents really DO want to find great talent

This is a biggie to keep in mind. We are busy. We do have our clients. But we accept queries for one reason only: we are looking for the next great talent to add to our list of authors. Follow these “must knows” and we just might find you!

*Marie is an Associate Agent at The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City. To keep up with all her Agent Monday posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the Follow link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: Big Girl Panties

Happy Agent Monday, everyone! Summer time is a great time to catch up on stuff, to try new things, and to sip that early morning coffee outdoors while deep in thought. I’m hoping you’re taking some time to have deep thoughts about your writing as well as your career. And so while you sit and sip and think, I want to toss something out there for you to ponder: Do you have your big girl panties on?

What do I mean by THAT??? I mean, are you being brave in your writing? Brave with your writing career? Not reckless, mind you, but BRAVE.

Here’s what’s set me circling around this topic: A writer friend I know has spent the past two years or so polishing up his manuscript and wants to now get an agent. When I asked him how that was going, he said he’s sent out 4 queries over the past few months. He seemed to be done with it.

I congratulated him for taking that step (let’s face it, it can be a tough step for some), but then, of course, I cocked an eyebrow at him. Four? He immediately said he hates querying. The potential rejection. But he says he wants an agent. I immediately issued him a pair of big girl panties to don, because, let’s face it, 4 queries ain’t much and he’s standing in his own way of his success. His fear is blocking him from is goal. Four agents… How long will it take those agents to read his query? Sometimes that can take months. How likely will it be that one of those 4 agents will fall in love with the query and request the full and then fall in love with the full enough to offer representation? Tastes are very individual. The odds are decidedly small. Wouldn’t it be better to have at least, say, 10-15 queries in play at all times? Or even more, if the writer can find a good number of agents that might be a fit?

And what is this author afraid of? Failure? Success? Isn’t the more frightening aspect spending several years on a novel that you then refuse to show anyone, even though it’s really good?

We writers (I’m a writer too, remember) self-sabotage our writing careers in so many ways. Yes, it’s a tough world out there and success is never guaranteed. But it would be so much more likely if we writers would stop blocking our own success.

So I say sip that early morning coffee and think deeply about your own writing goals. List them on paper. And the steps to attain them. And star just where you are stuck. Have you written anything? Have you finished that novel? Have you polished it and let others read it and suggest edits through a crit group, say? Have you taken the steps you need to learn about publishing, about how to query? Have you polished your query? Researched the right agents for your work? Sent out queries? Learned from the responses you’ve received and refined your query letter? Then sent out more queries? And while this goes on, have you then starting your next work?

Are you holding yourself back from your dreams in any way? If so, look hard at how and why. You may just need to go big girl panty shopping. Be brave!

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City. To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the Follow link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: When I Won’t Respond

Happy Agent Monday… What?  It’s TUESDAY?  Okay, I know that. But I just spent a wonderful and very busy three days at the NJ SCBWI conference, so Agent Monday turned into Agent Recovery Day.  (BTW, if you are looking for a great writer’s conference for kidlit, keep your eye on your regional SCBWI conferences. They always do a phenomenal job.) Today, I thought I’d cover something you should all know: I ALWAYS respond to every query I get, except for when the person querying me has made some serious errors. Errors that merit a delete instead. For example:

1. They have mass mailed the query to me
Signs of this? There is no Dear Ms. Lamba. No greeting at all. The entire query is generic with no reference as to why they specifically sent it to me. The email has clearly been sent to multiple agents at once (sometimes every agents’ email address is even there in the send-to field). Delete.

2. The query is sent as an attachment or has attachments
And I haven’t requested an attachment from this writer, as I might if I’d met them at a conference. Would you open this? I won’t. Delete.

3. The writer has sent this query to me before
Sometimes the writer changes the details of the query, or the title, or even the email it is sent from. I’ve even gotten the same query 3 or 4 times from a writer. Guess what? I remember. Delete and block sender.

4. The query has a greeting that is generic and/or wrong
Recent queries that have been sent to me have been addressed to Dear Sirs, Dear Agent, Dear Mr. DeChiara, Dear Publisher. Delete!

5. The query and/or querier scares the bejeebus out of me
Threatening language, creeps, etc. Delete, block and wash hands!!!

You get the idea. So, if you have queried me and haven’t heard back in a few months, and you haven’t done any of those crazy ass things I’ve mentioned here, then check your spam folder. Chances are you’ll see my response there. Because if you are not a crazy-ass querier, I will respond.

FYI, if you are querying me and I’ve met you before or you have a personal reference, then I might take a bit longer to respond to your query than the average time you’ll see on a site like querytracker. That’s because I know it will take a more personal response from me and I need to set aside time for that.

Happy July!

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the Follow link located on her page on the upper left margin.

 

 

Agent Monday: Digging for Buried Treasure

Happy Agent Monday, everyone!  I don’t know about you, but I’m so relieved that it’s March. A definite sense of “phew we made it-ness” has pervaded my mind.  A huge snow storm was predicted for today, so imagine my glee when I flipped up the shades this morning and discovered we’d gotten not 12 inches but barely an inch! HA! Take that winter. So instead of wasting time digging out mounds of white stuff I can devote a little extra time to digging for buried treasure. That’s right! It’s time to hunt through my inbox for that query that’ll tempt me to request a full manuscript. Wanna come along for the adventure? Pack your treasure map and your spy glass and follow me. Arrrrrr….

First query – science fiction. My guidelines say I don’t represent science fiction. Rejection sent.

Second query – non-fiction. My guidelines say I don’t represent non-fiction (aside from memoir). Rejection sent.

(Are you noticing a trend here? If so, here’s the link to my own treasure map, er, I mean submission guidelines.)

Third query – memoir. Something I actually represent. Yeah! Unfortunately, I found this one to not be unique enough, and the sample chapter was stilted. Rejection sent. (For what I think makes a memoir stand out, check out this post.)

Fourth query – YA, something else I actually represent. But this one is not at all ready for prime time. The writer needs to learn a lot more about the market and about writing before being at a professional level and ready to submit to agents. Rejection sent.

Fifth query – Women’s fiction, something I’m looking for. Length of the manuscript is right and the query follows my guidelines, but I’m not drawn in by the premise. I read a little of the sample pages pasted in below the query (something my guidelines allow for) and I’m not crazy about the voice or the writing. Rejection sent.

Sixth query – Category romance. My guidelines state I do not represent category romance. Rejection sent.

Seventh query – Women’s fiction. I found the query letter to be flat and it didn’t evoke anything for me. Rejection sent.

Eighth query – YA. The themes were cliché and the language used didn’t feel like it belonged to a teen. Rejection sent.

Ninth query – Middle grade fiction. Definitely looking for these. But this one didn’t sound unique, and the writing wasn’t up to snuff to me. Rejection sent.

Tenth query – YA. Strong query, except for a cliché tossed in. Opening pages have a nice voice.  I’m still worried about the cliché, though. Hm…  No rejection, but no request for more yet either.  I’m setting this one aside to look at again later, maybe after another cup of coffee.

Eleventh query – YA. I like the query and the plot hangs on an interesting hook. Encouraged, I read the opening pages, but quickly find myself skimming. Lots of back story. Pacing is way off. Rejection sent.

Query twelve – Fantasy. While I like fantasy elements, full-on fantasy is not my thing (as I say in my guidelines). Rejection sent.

Feeling a bit discouraged here.  Will there be any treasure in them-thar hills or not? Shall we shoot for lucky thirteen? Okay pirates, take a swig of rum (or coffee) and let’s journey on to one final spot.

Query thirteen – Horror. Guess what? I’m not at all into genre horror. Plus, I’ve seen this plot before in a very famous novel. Rejection sent.

Ah well, fellow treasure hunters. Be not discouraged. The majority of my clients have been found through the query process, so treasure hunting does pay off.  And for you writers, know that crafting an interesting query plus a fascinating manuscript is what it’s all about. And here’s a takeaway that is simple, yet pure gold: read an agent’s guidelines and follow them!

Until next time, me mateys, Arrrr!

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: Wrecking Your Chances?

Happy Agent Monday to hard-working writers everywhere! Something has been bugging the heck out of me, so this is going to be a kick-in-the-pants kinda post. As a writer myself, I know just how long it can take to write a full length novel.  Months to years of endless dedication are involved. You’ve invested your time and a bit of your soul into this work, right? THEN WHY THE HECK CAN’T YOU INVEST A LITTLE TIME IN FIGURING OUT HOW TO QUERY AND PITCH THE DAMN THING!!!!  Yes. I’m yelling. At you. Why? Because, my dearest writers, too many of you are wrecking your chances at success.

I see it every bloody day. I just spent the last 2 hours rejecting a slew of queries that committed too many crimes to count. I’ve been to too many conferences where authors squandered their pitch time with me, time that they should have spent hooking me with their novel idea and then reeling me in.

Sometimes I want to grab you all by the proverbial lapels and shake some sense into you. Do some research. Work on your query and pitch with care. Educate yourself about what works and what doesn’t. PLEASE. Don’t do it for me (well, okay, do it for me), do it for your creative work, which really needs your help to get it out into the world.

This is why I’m offering a special 2-session Query and Pitch Clinic over at the Word Studio in Chestnut Hill, PA on April 7 and 14. **Registration is limited to just 8 participants, and closes this Sunday, March 24 , so if you are interested you should click here to reserve your spot now.** Look, if you are going to conferences to pitch, you need to be ready. Pitch sessions are short and you want to do this right. If you are going to start submitting queries to agents, you need to know the ropes so you don’t find yourself blowing your chances with a slew of agents and getting an inbox filled with rejections, or worse, with no replies at all. At the Query and Pitch Clinic I’ll show writers how to avoid serious pitfalls and how they can best showcase their work to agents.

Here’s something to think about: Are you receiving no reply AT ALL to your queries?  Maybe you are assuming that a no reply means no.  Some agencies do this, but many do not. It could be that your query is so poorly presented and in some way actually insults agents to the point where they simply hit delete. Zowie, right?  I hate to simply delete a query, but I do if it’s justified. This happens when I feel ridiculous even taking the time to respond…like when the writer hasn’t even bothered to put my name in the body of the email.  Sending me a generic form query is actually rude…the equivalent of junk mail, actually, and will land you smack in the trash.

And what’s a mistake that I often see in pitching? Leaving the agent with far more questions than answers.  If I have to spend time during a pitch asking the writer what was the genre, whose story is it, what time period it was set in, and I’m obviously more confused than impressed with various plot points, then that writer didn’t do their work justice.

You’ve finished your novel – that’s a great accomplishment. Now finish the work of selling it and figure out how to query and pitch it right!  Do your research and learn these important skills any which way you can. You definitely owe it to yourself.

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

How NOT to Get an Agent

For those of you who don’t already know, in addition to being an author, I’m also an Associate Literary Agent for the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency in NYC.  I LOVE this job, but I gotta be honest…while I do sometimes discover great writing in my agent inbox, I also see plenty of mistakes being made. Plenty of queries that make me cringe and hit the reject button faster than I can sip my morning jolt of java. Are you currently querying an agent…perhaps even me?  Then listen up.

Marie’s Top 10 Countdown on How NOT to Get an Agent:

#10: Send me something in a genre I don’t represent and then try to convince me that even through it’s about futuristic dragons, your novel is not high fantasy or Sci Fi.

#9: Tell me how wonderful the book is, using words like blockbuster and bestseller and hit, without telling me what the book is about.

#8: Don’t give me a book title, and give no mention of who the audience is or what genre it is.

#7: Tell me too much about yourself. You recently got a dog.  You had a lovely vacation. You read books for fun. You work in a coffee shop, cleaners, are a housewife, like walks on the beach. You write letters to friends, you proofread your husband’s technical papers for him, you had a recipe published in a newspaper 20 years ago. You can hula dance…

#6: Don’t bother to spell check or proof read…  Missing words, misspellings… One error, I say you’re human.  FIVE errors and you’re in the wrong business.

#5: Use words the wrong way, because, hey, you spell checked and there are no wrong words in your query…  But then you include stuff like “escaping her density” and “dying from a gunshot womb.”

#4: Address me improperly: Dear Ms. Marie Lamba, Dear Marie Lamba Associate Agent, Dear Ms. DeChiara, Dear Sir or Madam. And my personal favorite: Dear Ma Lamba.

#3: Contact me in inappropriate ways… Through other email addresses, by stalking me on facebook and then popping up on my facebook chat to have a nice little natter, calling my home phone!  These are scary, people.

#2: Try to convince me, after the query and sample pages were rejected, that I’ve made a horrible mistake and that I shouldn’t reject the manuscript based on the characters, because this story is based on real life and every single person in the world will identify with the story.

And here, ladies and gentlemen, is the top way to NOT get an agent (insert drum roll, and cymbal crash!):

#1: After I politely reject you, send me an email that simply says, “You suck.”

So there you have it, 10 clear cut ways to NOT get yourself an agent. Sadly, I’m not making this stuff up.

Just remember, bad form will earn you a quick rejection. Bad behavior will have your email address shared with others in the firm and blocked as spam.  On the flip side, if your query follows guidelines and is as professional as any business letter should be, you will give your manuscript a fair shake…and so will I!

For my submission guidelines, click here.

Wishing you success,
Marie