Agent Monday: 50 Shades of Not-for-me

Hi all!  Okay, I know it’s Tuesday, but whatev’s.  Truth is, my Agent Monday was swamped with me catching up on other stuff, plus finishing up the edits on a client’s amazing middle grade novel.  Better late than never.  So here goes. 50 Shades of Gray has so many authors a-buzz with the whole “I can do that,” and “I can make a ton of moohlah doing that” energy.  And these submissions are starting to land in my inbox several times a day. So let me just put this into the stratosphere: As far as I’m concerned, it’s 50 Shades of Not-for-me.

Once I get a chance to update my online guidelines at the agency, I’ll definitely add in “no erotica” to that list of what I do and don’t want. Look, it’s nothing personal.  I’m just not into erotica in literature. I’m into character-driven fiction, depth, humor, amazing writing. Honestly, if you have that and then toss in an erotica plot to cash in on the craze, I’m still not on board. An in-depth compelling relationship with an amazing love-making scene, sure. But a naughty bite your lip and play hooker cuz it’s so empowering sort of novel? I’m out.

So save yourself some time and if that is what you are aiming at, simply remove me from your submission list. I’m not the agent for you. Please don’t try to convince me that your novel is not that “sort of book” when it really is. If you sat down and wrote it to tap into the “50 Shades Craze” then please don’t send it to me. If the whole trajectory of the plot is to put your heroine into more and more naughty scenarios, then I’m out.  If there are damp panties mentioned every time she sees a handsome man, THEN I’M OUT.

Just so we’re clear.

I wish erotica authors well, I truly do. And I hope they can find the agent who IS interested in their novels. And I hope they understand that I’m not that agent.

Okay, now that I put this info “out there,” I’m going to spend the next half hour or so rejecting the many erotica submissions sitting in my inbox right now.

No hard feelings, gang.

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: Poor Mom

Hi gang!  Happy Agent Monday to you all.  With Mother’s Day approaching this upcoming weekend (a big happy Mom’s Day to each of you!), I thought I’d pose this question to writers submitting to me: What do you have against moms?  Or dads?  You seem to have an obsession with killing them off.  Poor mom and dad.

It’s one of those weird things I see in numerous queries every day – the protagonist is an orphan. The parents died in an accident (sometimes the protagonist feels at fault), or from an illness, or one died and the other had already left the family years before.  So many orphans.  We’re talking about middle grade and YA novel submissions here.

If it’s a contemporary novel, then this orphan has been shuffled off to live with a weird relative – an eccentric, usually.  Perhaps they return to their mom’s home town to live with an estranged grandparent and begin to learn more and more about their mom’s past – full of surprises and secrets.

If the novel has any sort of fantastical element to it, the child – who lives with an eccentric relative now – discovers that mom didn’t just die from a disease, it was actually all a coverup for something bigger – an epic war is at hand and mom died fighting the good fight with whatever powers she had (magic, was a mythical being, could shoot lightning bolts out of her eyes – you get the idea).  Said orphan learns that he or she has those powers too, was left some talisman that will help with the fight, must figure out what’s happened/will happen or the entire world will come to an end, or something along those lines. Cough cough, Harry Potter, cough, cough.

And sometimes, in the fantasy scenario, mom isn’t dead for good and the child’s actions can bring them back.

Now hold up.  I can almost feel you folks ready to comment with a whole “It’s a fairy tale motif,” “It’s a classic fantasy trope,” “It’s a way for a child to embark on their own autonomous story,” “It’s how classic stories for kids have been shaped forever!”

I know, gang.  I’ve read those stories. Studied ‘em.  Even took several courses on the fairy tale when I was at Penn.

But here’s the thing: how many orphans did you know growing up?  How many do your kids know right now at this moment? Maybe it does tap into some dark fantasy in a resentful child’s mind or some “I’m on my own” desire ala My Side of the Mountain… But (and this is a big but, I can not lie!) it is done and done and done again and again.

Sometimes finding this all too familiar scenario makes me sigh aloud and I just can’t read yet another word.  Do you think editors might feel that way too?  Can you recast your novel to play out differently and thereby make it stand out in a fresh way?

And, couldn’t a parent, sometimes, be a part of the story?  Part of the humor? Part of the heart? Part of the conflict (without it going straight to abuse, which I see a lot of as well)?

I’m just putting this out into the stratosphere, because it just might result in more realistic reads, even in the fantasy genre. And it just might make your story stand out.

So go honor your mother!

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: How’d She Do that So Fast?

Happy Agent Monday, gang!  *Waves from a drizzly northeast location.*  Though it does vary, in general I reply to queries FAST.  Sometimes within hours of receiving them. Yeah, call me The Flash! All too often, I’m sending out polite rejections. These might have writers scratching their heads wondering, did she even read it? Does she have an army elves reading for her? How the heck did she do that so fast?

So today, The Flash replies to these questions…  Yes, I read it.  No, no army, just me. And how does The Flash maintain her rapid fire responses? Well, honestly, often I KNOW within a line or two of a query if I need to read anything more.

Sorry, writers, but it is true. Picture yourself browsing through a bookstore, looking for a new book to take home and spend hours upon hours with.  You are looking for what interests you most.  So if someone hands me something that I’m absolutely NOT interested in, I know quickly that it ain’t making it to the checkout aisle.

Blood, death and destruction? Not for me.  Zombie apocalypse? I could care less.  Horsey books? I always was afraid that a horse would bite my face off, so I’m not on board.  Rampant kinky sex between the pages of a book? Yawn.  A naughty baron is tamed by innocent maiden? Nu-uh.

If your query is trying to get me sweet on a topic that I really never ever have liked to read, chances are pretty good it’ll be a rapid fire rejection.  Doesn’t take me long to figure that out. That’s where reading an agent’s guidelines can be helpful to you. Don’t waste time trying to convince someone who does not represent bodice rippers that yours is the one for them.

What else spurs The Flash into a rapid-fire rejection? Unprofessionalism. Think of your query like a job interview. The moment you walk into the room, I’m looking for signs that you are a serious writer, a pro to work with, as well as talented. So, this is a writing gig, right? Show up with multiple typos, with a slew of grammatical errors in your sample pages, with a dull write up about your book, and it’s like you came into the interview room wearing flip-flops and with greasy hair, while smoking a joint. Zap! You ain’t getting the job.

You’d be amazed at how many queries I get on a daily basis that fall into one of the two above categories. With most, I don’t have to read too far before I know what to do.

So target your queries carefully, and be a pro in what you present. It matters. Big time.

Your goal should be to get the agent to request your full manuscript, and fast! So do it right.

Remember, I can be quick with a request, too.  So get moving.

The Flash is poised and waiting…

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: Promises, Promises

Happy sunny Agent Monday to you all!  As I raise my second coffee cup to my lips and contemplate the queries I’m about to read in my inbox, I can’t help but think about how hard this whole process can be. Yup, it’s hard for you writers to find the right agent who will “get” you and your writing enough to champion your work (remember, I’m a writer too, so I totally understand). But on the agent end of things, it’s hard too. Agents are looking to connect with novels, but all we get is a query and a few sample pages. When we latch onto something that really interests us in a query, it’s like a promise that the manuscript we request will deliver even more of that interest. So, promises, promises.  Are you keeping your promise to me?

Too often, I’m seeing these promises broken when I dive into the requested full, and, yes, that’ll result in a rejection.  It’s like a thirsty traveler happening upon a lemonade stand, plunking down a dollar with eager anticipation, only to find she’s walked away with a glass of tomato juice.  Not cool.

I think two things are happening with queries, neither one of which will help you get an agent…

Thing One: You do not have a clear vision of your novel, and because of this, you misrepresent it in a query. You call it a thriller when it’s really a contemporary. You say it’s contemporary when it’s really a paranormal. You call it a YA when it’s really a middle reader novel. You tell me it’s a dark emotional novel when it’s really a comical parody.

Thing Two: You do have a clear vision of your novel, BUT you’ve also read up on what’s hot and what I’m looking for and you recast your query to fit that so you’ll get me, the agent, to ask for it. You may think that if you could just get me to read your full novel I’ll fall in love with it and forget that it isn’t anything like what I’m looking forward to.

But Thing One or Thing Two = EPIC FAIL. Sorry, gang.

Truth is, when I’m settling in to read that requested full, I’m looking forward to reading what you’ve promised to deliver. When it doesn’t deliver those elements, or the focus quickly veers from what I was eagerly anticipating, I’m not delighted. I’m disappointed and confused. What happened to that quirky character the initial pages had me intrigued about? Or that contemporary tale I was looking for? Or that thriller you foretold.

Like with any commercial transaction, the old bait and switch ain’t gonna work. I’m gonna return that product to the seller fast and never look back.

So be careful what you promise. The query builds an expectation. Keep your promise, and I’ll keep interested.

Happy writing and querying!

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: An Invite for the Busy!

Happy Agent Monday, gang.  I know I know. I’ve been noticeably absent for a week or so. Why? Well it could have something to do with traveling to a conference in NYC, followed the next day with teaching a special class, followed the next day with travel, day of catching up, three more days of travel, oh, and teaching another class. And all this time I’ve been reading requested full manuscripts while in a train or bus, tending to my clients, doing deep edits on a manuscript, and, above all, my inbox has been filling up with queries like cwazy!  During the class I taught yesterday, I was sharing with folks info about querying and pitching, and how a query is not a hard sell, it’s an invitation to read more. So, today I’d like to talk about how it’s not only an invitation, it’s an invite for the busy.

Do it wrong and a busy person ain’t showing up, do it right and quick and make your book feel like “the place to be,” and even the most harried agent will pop in for a quick visit, perhaps even staying to the end of your manuscript.  Look, everyone’s busy, right? Ever since I’ve become an agent, though, I’ve become beyond busy. Even when I’m sleeping, I’m dreaming up pitches for my client’s manuscripts, when I’m making dinner, I’m stewing over editors to submit to, when I’m on the phone in the evening with my mom, I’m writing up a to-do list for the morning (sorry, Mom), and at 6 a.m. I’m doing stuff like this column (with my jammies on and my first coffee of the day in my hand). And during the work day? Zowie, that’s when things get busy! Check out my typical day in this post.

So my point is that I am juggling things and trying to use my time very wisely. You, on the other hand, are trying to tempt me into reading your full query, and your sample pages, and especially your full manuscript (which will most likely take several hours to get through). Hm.

Here’s something to think about, then: Is your query a tantalizing invite to a smokin’ once in a lifetime happening that I’d be a fool to miss? Or even a delightful gathering of comforting and heartwarming characters that will become like a second home to me? Ooooo!

Or, as with most queries I see, does it feel more like I’m being asked to Uncle Wilbur’s house to eat stale pigs in a blanket and watch (yet again), his dreadfully dull slide presentation of his day at the supermarket?  No thanks!

I, and many of my colleagues, look at queries in quick bursts. What’s it about? Is it something I care about? Is there something special about the writing, story, author? No? I’m outta there. Yes? I’ll give it another tiny bit of time to dip into the starting pages pasted below the query. Do those pages build on what’s in the query and pull me in? No? Then I’m not sticking around for the next course.  Yes? Then I’m getting comfortable and eager to meet folks at the party and hang out all night if I can…okay, you know what I mean.  I’ll want to see the rest of your book pronto!

What’s that mean to you, the writer? It means address your “party invite” correctly: put QUERY right in your email message line, along with your title and genre.  It means you lead with your best quality in your query, so when I open that query and my eyes dash over the starting lines, I won’t glaze over.  Are you an award-winning author with well-known books? Then why the heck would you put that at the bottom of your query? Is your book’s strongest quality a highly marketable hook? Then give me a one-line description of the book that includes it right at the top. Don’t make me read several paragraphs till I find that.  Is your voice exceptionally strong? Then perhaps a line from the book in italics should start off your query.

Think of your query as an invitation. What’s the reason to attend your party and stick around? Lead with that and it’ll be as if you’re saying “open bar!” (or, in my case, “unlimited dark chocolate”).  And even the busiest of us agents will show.

(By the way, pleeeeease don’t start sending me chocolates!)

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

 

Agent Monday: Do Your Homework!

Happy Agent Monday, all!  Today I’m shaking my finger at you in a very motherly way, and saying: “Stop messing around and DO YOUR HOMEWORK!”

Here’s the thing: too many of you submit queries to me without doing what you should have done first. Namely, found out what I want, how I want it, or even who the heck I am!  Jeesh.

Want an instant rejection? Well then you’re good.

Want to snag an agent? Then get to work!  In the past few days alone I’ve received a slew of queries with my name misspelled. A ton of queries were for things I have NO INTEREST IN REPRESENTING, like high fantasy, non-fiction, gory fiction.  A bunch of queries were sent to me without the first 20 pages pasted into the query, or they had the entire manuscript attached. No no no!!!

More finger shaking.

Come on, gang.  It isn’t that hard.  Back in the day, writers used to have to slog over to the library and beg the reference librarian for the current issue of Literary Marketplace for a semi current listing of literary agents. A listing, mind you, with only the most basic contact info.  If you wanted to know who else that agent represented, you had to pull books off the shelf and hope the authors thanked their agent in their acknowledgements. It was tough in many ways.

Today? You go online and google the agent’s name for current info featured about them in blogs and interviews. You go onto their agency website and find out exactly what they want and how they want it. It’s not that hard.

And if you aren’t doing this, you are flagging yourself as unprofessional and, sadly, not too savvy. You are just begging for a swift rejection.

Is that what you want?

Of course not! So stop messing around and DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

And while you’re at it, eat your vegetables too.

 

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: Wrecking Your Chances?

Happy Agent Monday to hard-working writers everywhere! Something has been bugging the heck out of me, so this is going to be a kick-in-the-pants kinda post. As a writer myself, I know just how long it can take to write a full length novel.  Months to years of endless dedication are involved. You’ve invested your time and a bit of your soul into this work, right? THEN WHY THE HECK CAN’T YOU INVEST A LITTLE TIME IN FIGURING OUT HOW TO QUERY AND PITCH THE DAMN THING!!!!  Yes. I’m yelling. At you. Why? Because, my dearest writers, too many of you are wrecking your chances at success.

I see it every bloody day. I just spent the last 2 hours rejecting a slew of queries that committed too many crimes to count. I’ve been to too many conferences where authors squandered their pitch time with me, time that they should have spent hooking me with their novel idea and then reeling me in.

Sometimes I want to grab you all by the proverbial lapels and shake some sense into you. Do some research. Work on your query and pitch with care. Educate yourself about what works and what doesn’t. PLEASE. Don’t do it for me (well, okay, do it for me), do it for your creative work, which really needs your help to get it out into the world.

This is why I’m offering a special 2-session Query and Pitch Clinic over at the Word Studio in Chestnut Hill, PA on April 7 and 14. **Registration is limited to just 8 participants, and closes this Sunday, March 24 , so if you are interested you should click here to reserve your spot now.** Look, if you are going to conferences to pitch, you need to be ready. Pitch sessions are short and you want to do this right. If you are going to start submitting queries to agents, you need to know the ropes so you don’t find yourself blowing your chances with a slew of agents and getting an inbox filled with rejections, or worse, with no replies at all. At the Query and Pitch Clinic I’ll show writers how to avoid serious pitfalls and how they can best showcase their work to agents.

Here’s something to think about: Are you receiving no reply AT ALL to your queries?  Maybe you are assuming that a no reply means no.  Some agencies do this, but many do not. It could be that your query is so poorly presented and in some way actually insults agents to the point where they simply hit delete. Zowie, right?  I hate to simply delete a query, but I do if it’s justified. This happens when I feel ridiculous even taking the time to respond…like when the writer hasn’t even bothered to put my name in the body of the email.  Sending me a generic form query is actually rude…the equivalent of junk mail, actually, and will land you smack in the trash.

And what’s a mistake that I often see in pitching? Leaving the agent with far more questions than answers.  If I have to spend time during a pitch asking the writer what was the genre, whose story is it, what time period it was set in, and I’m obviously more confused than impressed with various plot points, then that writer didn’t do their work justice.

You’ve finished your novel – that’s a great accomplishment. Now finish the work of selling it and figure out how to query and pitch it right!  Do your research and learn these important skills any which way you can. You definitely owe it to yourself.

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: First Impressions

Hey gang!  Happy Agent Monday, once again.  This upcoming weekend I’ll be taking pitches at The Liberty States Fiction Writers Conference. Taking pitches allows the writer to set up the purpose of their book, and for me to ask questions to fill in holes that remain in just what the book is about and why it stands out. This past weekend, however, I was doing something entirely different: critiquing first pages.  It was at a special Writer’s Tea hosted by the Bucks County Romance Writers group at my fab local indie bookstore Doylestown Bookshop. In many ways it was the exact opposite of a pitch: I didn’t know the writer, or the genre, or the overall arc of the story. There were just words on the page. And they pointed out one thing loud and clear: the importance of first impressions!

By looking at the first page alone, the words really had to do the job. Is your first page working for your manuscript? Reading a book is an investment in time, so that first page needed to answer this question: Why do I want to take this long journey with you?

Often, when the writer came to hear the critique (which was delivered one on one), they said to me, “It really gets going on page two,” or “the book takes off in chapter three.” Hm. Now I don’t need to have the full action or plot poured out into the very first page, but what I do want to see is something that makes me think: “Turn the page. I have to see where this is going!” Now that can be a wide range of things from an interesting point of view, or an intriguing voice, or a question I care about that I’d like to see answered.  All sorts of things can draw me in, so don’t feel you need to squeeze in that life changing moment into the first two paragraphs!

Sometimes writers use their first few pages, or even chapters, as a sort of throat-clearing warming up getting into things exercise. I say that’s fine for your draft, but then ask yourself: When do things really begin? And start the final polished draft there!

Here’s why a great start matters: If an agent is not drawn in by your opening pages, they will probably stop reading. If the agent sends a manuscript like this to an editor, the editor may stop reading. Why does this all happen? It’s up to the writer at the get-go to nail the structure and pacing of their novel. Agents and editors see a ton of books by writers who DO get this right, so they must ask themselves: Do I really want to spend time fixing all of this for the writer, or do I move on? Remember, in books that are tightly paced and structurally sound, there is often still plenty of editing that will be needed. It’s WORK and TIME and we folks must ask ourselves where to invest our limited time and resources. It is a business, right?  In the end, we all think about the consumer, the reader of the published novel. Think about it. How do YOU buy books? Don’t you often read the first page or few pages to see if it’s worth purchasing?

But wait wait wait, Marie! (some of you may be thinking right about now)… Don’t agents and editors KNOW that writers sometimes take a while to get started and skip ahead to see if the story picks up? As a writer, I remember hearing that bit of wisdom once upon a time. And maybe it was true once upon a time when an agent or editor actually had a paper manuscript land on their desk. Today? We get things via email. Electronic files we load onto our computers or ereaders. We read from page one on. If I find myself skimming ahead because I’m bored, that’s a serious red flag to me, and zooming ahead 25 or 50 pages? Honestly, I just don’t.  I won’t stick with your book unless YOU make me want to stick around. That’s all about the power of your words.

So back to those first page crits I just did… Some of the things that I saw that didn’t make me anxious to see page two included:

1. A ton of dialogue or first person thoughts that didn’t have a voice to them or point of view. Is this a woman? A kid? Who is talking or thinking and why do I care? Some hint would certainly help!

2. A ton of info. Blocks of prose that gave all sorts of info about the backstory. Do I need backstory when I still don’t know what the story is? Again, what draws me in?

3. Repetition. Saying the same thing in several different ways right on page one hints to me that this is a work that needs tightening, plus it doesn’t move the story along.

What worked in those first pages?

1. Voice! When I had an immediate grasp of the writer’s/character’s voice, and I liked it for some reason, I was willing to continue on the journey (and even forgive some rough spots).

2. Originality! Okay, so maybe that first page wasn’t perfect, but what an interesting situation! Yeah, I’ll turn that page.

3. Elegance! Show me some sign that you are a skilled writer, whether beauty in the prose or sharp wit or something that makes me nod and think, yup, I get that, or wow, the writer’s right about that and I never saw it that way… And I’ll turn that page.

4. Well-targeted writing! If it’s a middle grade novel, I should be able to tell without it being labeled as such. Ditto for women’s fiction, or thriller, or literary. If I’m embarking on a reading journey, I want to feel I’m in capable hands and going on a charted course in the direction the book wants to take me. (I hope that makes sense.)

So you can see that you, as the writer, can actually do a lot with your first page. You can reel me in and pull me deeper into your world. Do that, and I’ll want to read page 2, and page 3 and so on.

Take a hard look at your opening pages. First impressions definitely matter.

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: Passing Thoughts

Happy Agent Monday, peeps.  Since there seems to be an intense interest in why agents pass over certain queries, I thought I’d cave and give you some recent examples on why some recent queries got a no from me. So let’s get to it.

1. Generic! The query began with “Dear Agent” or some such, and then went on to say something like “I specifically picked you because you represent such great books and do such great things…”  Obviously a form letter, and a bit insulting to the intelligence, frankly. I’m so special, but you don’t know my name?  LAZY.

PASS.

2. Not for me! My guidelines specifically state that I’m not into “books that feature graphic violence.” So you know that pulling out a chain saw and lopping off someone’s body parts in chapter one is the perfect book for me, right? AAAAAH! AAAAAAAH!!!!

PASS.

3. First effort! This publishing thing is a business, and a tough one to break into at that, right? So when a querier sends me a manuscript that is their very first effort, and it’s clear that they’ve never ever read in their genre to figure out what’s what… it’s definitely too soon to be thinking about marketing anything.

PASS.

4. Again? I get it. Women are swept away with the idea of a paranormal lover…someone dangerous and saucy and seductive. He’s HOT. He notices her. Did I mention that he’s hot and he notices her? Because that seems to be what’s goin’ on here, ladies. But I’m sorry folks, the wolf thing, the vampire thing, it’s been done done done done. And I’m not seeing anything new here.

PASS.

5. It’s a what? For who? Here’s a query that really doesn’t know what it is, meaning the writer doesn’t know the genre he or she is writing for. There’s an 11 year old protagonist, but they are calling it a YA and giving it more mature themes, AND they are also infusing it with childlike happenings AND dialogue using words that even I had to look up.

PASS.

6. Too clever for its own good. This query was clearly written by a very smart person using very smart words and all sorts of intellectual word play. It felt like I was reading something that I’d been assigned in school and that I’d have to grab the Cliff Notes on to even begin to follow. I rub my forehead with exhaustion, and…

PASS.

7. Lovely in some ways, but… This one shows some true skill in dialogue and wordplay and even a gentle sort of a hook thrown in which may work for more literary women’s fiction… but in 20 pages I still feel the plotting is a bit too sleepy and I just don’t care enough based on what I see and on the synopsis to read on. I send a more personalized rejection, but it’s still a…

PASS.

8. Really? This query is one of those take something weird and add in something weirder and then write and write and write sort of things. It doesn’t even make sense.

PASS.

9. Hmmm. Interesting! Here’s a query that is smart and funny. I like this writer right away. They show they know me (which is helpful) and that they are savvy about the market (which is even more helpful).  The first 20 pages are fresh and well written and build on the promise set up in the query: strong voice, different take on things, interesting. So I google the author (I google them? Check out this post to see more on that!) and see that no, this book wasn’t already published and isn’t available everywhere for free or whatever. And that, yes, the author does have an online presence that reflects her image in a decent way.

REQUESTED FULL!

So that’s it. A peek into my inbox.

Remember, I’m ACTIVELY LOOKING for new clients, and I want to find them. I’m not sitting here twiddling my fingers thinking, “Hm, how can I ruin a writer’s hopes and dreams today?”  It’s more like, “Hm, where is the writer who is ready for me to make their hopes and dreams take off?”

BRING IT.

But do your homework, make your work perfect first, and check out my guidelines here.

Marie

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.

Agent Monday: How to do a Writer’s Conference Right

Happy Monday, all!  February has almost bit the dust (kudos to the wise one who made it our shortest month). The birds are reemerging, everyone is itching to go to the store and buy pastel colored clothing for some reason, and this can only mean ONE thing: It’s Writer’s Conference Season!!!

Yup, something about springtime rolling around makes writers want to clutch paper cups of tepid coffee and sticky danishes wrapped in napkins and scurry for seating at an assortment of workshops and panels.  The appeal is clear: you get to see that, damn, you really aren’t the only nut who has been squirreled away for months on end lost in your head making up evil plots for a novel. And you also get to see that, hot damn!, there are, in fact, editors and agents out there who want to see what you’ve created.

It’s inspiring and seeing all the excitement can really get your creative sap flowing. If you do it right, you will emerge from your conference more focused, full of inspiration, and with a notebook full of tips and ideas. That’s all great!

But if you do it wrong, you’ll emerge feeling disappointed or down on yourself. Blah. Not cool.

I’ve been to a ton of writer’s conferences over the years as both a new writer, an established author, a presenter, and as an agent taking pitches. I well remember being unsure and nervous at my first few conferences, plus I’ve seen my share of stuff.  So in today’s Agent Monday post, I thought I’d give you two things to keep in mind as you visit your first (or fortieth) writer’s conference.

KEEP THOSE EXPECTATIONS REALISTIC!

THE BAD: You come sure your dream agent is at that conference. Your purpose is clear. You are going to bee-line it for that agent, you are going to wow that agent, and by the end of the conference, that agent will be in the bag. THAT is why you are going to this conference.

Yikes! First of all, the term “dream agent” is a little messed up, don’t you think? I hear that bandied about a ton by writers, but really? An agent is a business partner, not the love of your life  And a dream agent?  Hm. The only legitimate use of that term is when you have been working with your agent for a length of time and they actually meet and exceed your expectations.

But anyway, you see where I’m going with this. If you are setting an impossible goal for yourself, chances are you will be disappointed. I have seen authors come into conferences, hell-bent on success. They can be a little scary. Especially when things don’t go exactly as planned (and, really, what does?).

THE GOOD: Expect to hear agents and editors speak, and to take a ton of notes and to get closer to your goal of publication.

That’s a realistic goal, right? The more you learn, the more professional you’ll be (making both you and your manuscript more attractive to folks who are looking to work with you).  You’ll gain insight into what really interests a particular agent or editor – things that will truly help you target submissions and flavor your queries.

So try to sign up for a pitch session with an agent you are interested in, but understand that it might not work out. Still, know that what you may learn about that agent can help you to sharpen your query to that person after the conference. Did she say something in her talk that resonated with you? Then mention that in the query. I respect when writers do their homework and aren’t just sending me any old manuscript just because they found my email address.

DON’T BE ALL ME ME ME!

THE BAD: You go to the conference and tell people stuff about you, your book, your writing…  At panel talks, you raise your hand over and over and over again, not really to ask questions, but to mainly stand up and have the floor and interject you, your book, your writing.  At the end of the conference, you come home feeling a bit smug. Now everyone there knows all about you and your book!

But guess what? If you come out of a conference with no notes, with no new acquaintances, with no new knowledge, then you’ve done it all wrong.

THE GOOD: You attend the conference eager to learn. You take time to meet fellow writers and ask them what they write and about where they are in the journey, and you learn a ton from them! You share helpful stuff with them.  At panels and workshops you listen, take notes, and, yes, raise your hand if you have a legitimate question.  You go home knowing more, with new connections.

And guess what? Plenty of people asked you about your writing without you needing to pull out a bullhorn.

If you keep these two things in mind, hopefully your conference experiences will be ALL GOOD!

My upcoming conference appearances can be found here.  And if you need help working on your query letter and your verbal pitch, I’m offering a QUERY AND PITCH CLINIC through The Word Studio in Chestnut Hill, PA in April. Registration is very limited (to 8 people) for this 2-day workshop, so you know you’ll get plenty of one on one advice from me.  Info about this workshop can be found by clicking here.

*Marie is an Associate Agent at the Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency in New York City.  To keep up with all her posts, subscribe to her site by clicking on the “Subscribe to Marie’s site here” link located on her page on the upper left margin.